The call came, sooner than expected.
Driving there felt quicker
Like a race, all the lights blurring together
Like one solid trail, leading the way.
The walls and floor were all white
Making me feel colder, not being able to tell up from down.
Silver doors enclose us, shutting us in the small tin box
Filled with the thoughts and concerns for others.
There are people in every direction, waiting and watching
I feel there gazes, I start to sweat.
The room was white; occupying two people
One I don’t know; don’t care about
The other is who I came to see.
All the family is there, surrounding her.
She stares at me.
The medication makes her eyes glassy,
I realize she doesn’t really see me
I run away, it’s too much to handle.
I cry in another white room, people come find me.
Grandpa comes out, he hugs me and cries.
It sounds like laughter, it strikes me
I’ve never heard him cry.
The doors swing open again, my Dad steps out
Finally someone to lean on
To be stronger than me.
I look at his face, no hope
No reassurance that everything will be okay.
He wants to leave,
I see the panic in his eyes, his desperation.
I go to the room once again,
close myself off.
I say “I love you, Mom. I will miss you.”
Leaving the room, avoiding the numerous gazes.
I let the silver doors shut me in
And I shut down.
No one will ever realize that I left my mother
alone to die.
No comments:
Post a Comment